tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1143889317610941496.post3181494671054168565..comments2012-10-23T05:18:46.086-04:00Comments on From the Ashes: To Tell or Not to Tell...Maggiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05110274608693124961noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1143889317610941496.post-25311426077033045582012-05-16T22:25:42.179-04:002012-05-16T22:25:42.179-04:00As a single person engaging the use of a surrogate...As a single person engaging the use of a surrogate overseas, I too really didn't know what to do about telling people. I road-tested the idea on two straight-talking mothers to gauge reactions before deciding whether to proceed with surrogacy and was genuinely surprised at their unreserved 'go for it' responses. Once everything was under way, I held off telling family and a few very close friends until the end of the first trimester. I laugh now at the trepidation and fear of telling people (and telling them at that stage) because the responses have always been at least warm but usually thrilled and always shocked. With the third trimester fast approaching I'm telling a few more people. Reactions remain positive yet my silly trepidation is still there each time. Common advice being received is to name the child after the person I've just told! There is also interest/fascination in the process. <br /><br />You've got some great news to share with those you love and know. They'll understand about the timing when they get over the initial excitement. (They might even appreciate the timing and not having to share the worry of first trimester uncertainties.) Enjoy! :)Tomhttp://asurrogacydiary.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1143889317610941496.post-7999086680916549962012-05-16T15:01:21.501-04:002012-05-16T15:01:21.501-04:00If you tattoo it on your forehead will you please ...If you tattoo it on your forehead will you please post a photo? :)<br />This is such a personal issue and you should be 100% selfish in your decisions. It's your life! <br />We were surprised to find every single person supportive - including some deeply religious folks we assumed would think it was wrong for two guys to start a family. It has really opened my eyes.<br />Good luck to you-<br />KJeff and Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13867306985312185562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1143889317610941496.post-73630307863913487162012-05-16T07:11:26.237-04:002012-05-16T07:11:26.237-04:00Maggie...you're living and breathing my infert...Maggie...you're living and breathing my infertile life! I feel everything you are saying. We don't talk to family and most friends about our 10 year infertility struggles which have led us to India as they simply can not grasp the gravity of our situation and how it has almost destroyed us for so long. Most of our relationships have broken down due to us being different. I have felt so alone and different for so long and initially waited for some magical cure which never came.<br />After the pain and devastation of our surrogates miscarriage in March I decided I will not keep quite and have all those in the fertile world live their lives pretending that all is ok and we just need time to accept our childless fate. On Mothers Day this silent bystander (along with hubby of course)announced to both families that we are pregnant with twins due to arrive via surrogate in India in December. I'm not sure if they were all shocked and thinking omg they're finally going to have a baby or omg she speaks! We had many questions which some were answered to the questioners satisfaction and some weren't but you know what this is our life and it's been so quiet and lifeless for so long. This is the best thing to happen to us in a decade and this is our path we are laying for ourselves on our journey with what we have to work with. My answer to those with negative opinions is 'that's OK you feel that way I don't expect you to understand!' Just remember that you are stronger than you think you are and together you and Mike can and will conquer this curse called infertility because you know what the power of love and hope can bring!!! Goodluckpartyoftwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00286802056915523232noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1143889317610941496.post-45162355672414042712012-05-15T16:12:07.080-04:002012-05-15T16:12:07.080-04:00Hi Maggie, I feel so much of what you wrote in thi...Hi Maggie, I feel so much of what you wrote in this blog, I'm only just starting out but i think about friends and families reactions, it can be so disheartening but I'm resigned to say stuff the people that can't be pleased for us ! The positive is you guys have each another and soon u will have more, you will have a family, wishing you the very best xGeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16898299053966379929noreply@blogger.com